I write here, not as a woman who’s been confident all her life, but as a lady who’s learning what confidence is all about .
While growing, I was a very outspoken girl, not shy, neither was I rude,but then as I grew older, I began to hide in a shell, I became a very shy person, and I really don’t know why, I was never made to feel insecure. I just used to hide behind some invisible wall.
In Uni, it grew worse. My confidence level was so low. I hated talking to so many people at once. People in my department didn’t really know me until I was in my second going to third year.
I joined Bible study in church (at school) , and there was a day I was asked to give an introduction on what we would teach, I cried as though something terrible happened,I cried so hard, I couldn’t help it, I felt inadequate, I felt stupid, I felt I couldn’t be enough. I was just very insecure.
I was the kind of girl who would have a million dollar idea for a project but wouldn’t say, because she felt inadequate, I was the kind of girl who thought she had nothing to offer. I didn’t like being near smart people as much as I admired them.
Looking back, my first ever real relationship was one sided. I never talked,he used to beg me to talk, to talk about how I felt, but I was always scared to talk about how I felt, because I didn’t want to be shushed. I didn’t want to seem unwise, so I thought it best to always listen.
The irony about all this is that I’m not the quiet type, I talk a lot when I want to, depending on who I’m with. My fam begs me to stop talking to them lol.
Little did I know that God was preparing someone special to talk to me about this. When this person came into my life, I was still very much behind that wall I built, but this person was used by God’s to break down those walls,he told me one thing I’ll never forget. He said, “Fifi, do you know confidence is very sexy?” I found myself saying things I never uttered to anyone, I found myself saying my dreams that I’d never shared with anyone. I really don’t know how it happened, but with him, I started building my confidence (get yourself a good friend.)
I began to see my self in a different light. I told myself these things:
*I’m not inadequate
*I have everything to offer, I’m not empty.
*I have so much worth.
Look, when I tell you confidence is sexy, I’m not just saying it because it sounds good, I say it because it’s true, and it’s made me different, I feel empowered. (I want to cry so bad right now) I’m a different woman. Confidence is beautiful, and by confidence, I don’t mean ego. Try to wear confidence, I promise it’ll look good on you. Don’t be scared people won’t like what you have to offer, truth is, not everyone will.
One last thing, I used to let people walk all over me, I hated confrontation (I still do), but there’s a difference. I speak up when I’m supposed to, my speaking will make a difference because I don’t speak empty words.
I still haven’t gotten over the fear talking to many people, I mean my heart was beating so fast yesterday when I wanted to share something in my singles fellowship yesterday, but I know I’m getting better. God will definitely use me to speak to lots and lots of people.
I Love you, sisters. Wear confidence like a crown 👑 everyday.