Sup family, how’re you all doing? New week, new month.
Oh I’m so distracted I’m seeing a movie and I have to write, so I’m doing both. Bad choice I know.
On Saturday, I read a letter from Jacknjilllive.com and it inspired this. Leke Alder was telling a young married woman that was kinda involved with her ex to abort mission. It’s so absurd. You’re married yet you’re still very close to your ex. It’s because she didn’t break it off when it restarted.
Now, let me tell you a short story. I used to have a boyfriend. Lol I used to say my first boyfriend would be my husband, and that would have been true had I waited. Anyways, we went our separate ways and blah blah.
Of course I missed him. I’d listen to Taylor Swift songs to complement the mood (never try this at home). I’m forever grateful and thankful that we went our separate ways when we did. God is amazing, something beautiful was coming up for me. Anyways, there was one time he was in school and he asked to see me, didn’t want to be rude, so I saw him and talked a bit, I kinda wish I didn’t even see him, it was a pointless meeting. Kmt. I’ve actually started learning to not care, as long as it’s the right thing I’m doing.
He used to text me often, but I would always reply with ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘lol’ just one word answers, and he’ll be like I just want us to be friends, why you being cold? And stuff like that…to which I’ll say “okay” and you know, just let the conversion end there. Note:I wasn’t being evil. I had just moved on, in no way was he of benefit to me anymore, I had to drop him like a hot pot. It’s just about knowing your worth, plus I couldn’t drag him into a new relationship.
There was a time my friend and I went out and she invited him. I was so freaking mad. Like why you gotta bring him along?!! (she’s probably reading this, but we’re over it! Sup sis?) the guy eventually came, he was probably expecting me to be chatty, but I was very polite. Not like we talked much during the relationship sef. So, at the end of the freaky date. My friend told me he didn’t like how I acted, I wasn’t rude, I asked the right questions, answered the necessary ones.
Recently, he invited me to his church, and I politely declined the invite.
Now, some might feel I’m being mean or something, trust me, I’m not. I’m protecting my worth. That’s all, I’m a woman that knows where I’m headed, and I really do not see him there. Assuming I could see him as a part of my future, no ish, but he’s not adding anything to me. Another reason is that I’m not going to be single forever. I’ll be in a relationship before long. And I can’t bring him into my new relationship. Nah. I won’t wait till I’m married before I leave him. I gotta drop him especially when it’s seeming so very weird ( but it just seems wrong to me, which is why I’m not interested in the business of gathering exes like what I dunno) just chill babe.
Currently, I’m on this waiting period, and this is a beautiful kind of waiting, one I know God is heavily involved in,and I’m so glad I’m not just jumping into the arms of every human that likes me. Like holup! I’m chilling for my real boo, he’s being prepared, please don’t come and spoil it for me. Oh baby, I’m patiently waiting
I hope I was coherent. Love y’all.