Trust me, I had something else planned for today, not this topic at all. Oh! Before you say anything, I am not a relationship counsellor or something like that like some people actually think. I’m just a young Christian woman.
This message is for teens and singles.
One thing that hurts me is when I see people in relationships that do not help their lives one bit. We all want to be in relationships so bad that we just go into them, without thinking. Literally. No insults here.
I was talking with someone recently, and she told me, she just gave in to her current boyfriend just cos he was asking her to date him persistently, and she didn’t want to say no, cos it was getting too much. I’m like she could have just said “No.” after all, it’s her life. Everyday she and this guy must get into some form of stupid argument or the other. I can’t deal. I’m always almost tempted to say JUST LEAVE THE FREAKING RELATIONSHIP!!! It’s not by force.
I’ve had my share, although I’ll say that was due to the fact that I was crazy crazy naive, this boy kinda knew, and decided to take advantage of that, and silly me gave in. Looking back, I’m actually laughing right now, at how lonely I was and how much I needed some kind of validation. No friend to truly confide in, so I was in it alone. I think I was 16 or 17. One day he wanted to kiss me, and I turned him down! And he made a statement. As long as I live, I will never forget that statement. He said angrily, “is your body gold? What is so special about you? ” I was astonished. You’d think I would never talk to him again, when I got into the room I texted him and told him I was sorry. Funny thing is his friend joined in his stupidity. Crazy lonely girl she was. (I wish I could go back to meet that sixteen Year old girl. She desperately needed someone to talk to). Now, I’m no longer laughing. I’m really sad for her.
Now, to a very very large extent, I know my worth. I know I’m gold. I know that I am virtuous. All these things that I’m now fully aware of will definitely affect who I even choose to consider as a friend, talk more a boyfriend. Not just any human being can have me as a friend cause I’m special. I AM SPECIAL. People think I’m a loner here cause I prefer to be on my own, well… I really don’t care.
It’s not until a guy beats you that you’re in a toxic relationship. It’s all in him not trusting you. It’s in him constantly looking for something rude to say. It’s in both of you constantly bickering. It’s in him using words to tear you down. If you find yourself in one, I beg you, leave. Forget the fact that he’s handsome. Forget the fact that he’s rich (but so many girls love money, and it blinds them. In fact they know they’re being hurt, but the money is some form of consolation prize) . Forget the fact that he’s hardworking (the lady told me her bf is hardworking, so she doesn’t want to leave him, cos of the future. Well, what if something happens? What if all of a sudden he becomes lazy?). Forget the fact that he “makes up” for all the stupid stuff he’s done. Just please leave. Words like those he says won’t build you. They will tear you down and eat at you for years and destroy you.
I was in year two that time, and my CGPA suffered. Crazily. All my results were E and I was lucky to have two c’s or something. I had my first and Only F. It was horrible. My emotions were in a mess cause somebody was tearing me down with foolish words, and I couldn’t deal cos I was sixteen or seventeen. Been struggling to remember how we stopped our “friendship”
Look, if you’re lonely, please don’t look for validation in any guy or human being at that. Look for validation in Jesus. Seems Cliché but I tell you it is the absolute truth, and even after three years , I only got to learn that earlier this year. So, I promise you, I’m not saying it cause people say it. It’s because it worked for me. You see, if my best friend decides to leave me today, I’ll be hurt for sure. Really hurt in fact, but then he is not the source of my Joy. Jesus is. I’m telling you.
Just leave the relationship. Tell God to help you, and to strengthen you. I beg you. If you are in one and you need someone to talk to, I’m always here. I’ll definitely pray for you, even if it’s all I do.
I love you.